my wicked windang ways
(f)risky business.......................................................................................


Tuesday, April 27, 2004
Humdrum
listening to:Hash Pipe by Weezer
playing:Monster Rancher 4 on the PS2

Went for a job interview yesterday at this publishing house (I'm not saying which). The job was referred by Mummy Janet again (maybe it's maternal instinct that lets her know her "kiddies" are desperate for money? anyway, thanks, Mum Janet!) It went real well. I would get that job.
That is, if I wanted it.
Actually, it's okay. The place is a little rundown (a publishing house that's literally a house)--but i like it that way. It's a non-profit company, anyway, and it has this small, independent publisher feel to it. I wouldn't mind the strict boss, or the average pay, or the seemingly heavy workload. The quiet, cozy, home-y ambience I like very much.
There's just this one teeny little problem.
It's a religious publisher.
Okay, okay, I wouldn't mind proofreading religious materials. That's fine by me. But I was informed that there's the possibility I could be sent to some seminars or training sessions where they actually have the usual prayer meetigns, sharings, singing and all that.
Don't get me wrong, I am not downplaying other people's religious activities and practices. But that is just not for me. It would have been okay, if I would be spared from all that, but I would be expected to participate, and that kind of--of--subterfuge just because it's part of work--that I can't stomach. It wouldn't be fair to the people who believed in that kind of thing--it would even be a kind of insult. Scary, if I imagine they found out: They would turn to me and point their fingers and shout, "Infidel!" That, or they'll immediately set out to convert me. Or ask about my religious convictions--stuff I haven't settled myself.
Maybe I'm paranoid. Of course no one's gonna coerce me into anything, or convert me, or what. It's just that I don't want that uncomfortable feeling of being surrounded by super perky cheery, pious people and knowing you've got the blackest soul amongst all the sheep.
I find it strange that I would prefer the somber, solemn worship rituals and mysticism of Catholicism rather than all the singing and praising of other Christian sects.
Or maybe it's just because I've watched The Order, where Heath Ledger as a priest is the same as Gael Garcia as a priest--they make you think impure thoughts.
Gees, there i go again, digressing. What a disjointed blog entry.
Anyway, so I'm probably not taking that job. Anyone interested could just text me, and I'll e-mail you the details or something.
the bitchwitch brewed this concoction @6:57:00 PM

Sunday, April 25, 2004
My life as a stagnating pool of (in)human sewage slush
listening to
: The Monster Rancher 4 opening theme (and its driving me nuts)
rereading: Louisa May Alcott's Little Men (don't ask)


Missed out on what promised to be a lively night out with Dell and Yonina last night. Damn scrape in my knee is infected, but its getting better now. I've been washing it with water where I've boiled guava leaves (ha, feeling Aragorn with his athelas, though I've always imagined athelas to be like calamansi leaves--they smell--wholesome, as Professor Tolkien would say).

Mummy Janet has passed this freelance interview thing to me last week, but it keeps getting put-off. I'm supposed to interview someone today, but I still haven't got the confirmation text. It's money, and I'm not complaining, but I am a bit worried about the scrape and all. *sigh* I'm too old for these things. Scraping my knee, i mean.

Oh well, I better look over my interview questions. I've only realized now that I'm sucky with interviews.
the bitchwitch brewed this concoction @6:37:00 PM

Monday, April 19, 2004
whatevers, whither-tos and why-fors
feeling like:
Gollum, stagnating
listening to: The Reason by Hoobastank
reading:They Call Me Mad Dog! A Story for Bitter, Lonely People by Erika Lopez


I've got to stop doing this. Drinking, I mean. Just yesterday Dell and I went off for an "afternoon delight" at Sara's. With nothing but a handful of Spicy Oishi in my stomach to cushion the onslaught of San Mig Light, I got tipsy and all. After that great night out with April last Saturday when I actually drank more bottles plus some gin pomelo but didn't get drunk--oh well, it's not a good thing to go drinking with just Dell alone. We tend to forget ourselves.
To sober up we ate fish-,chicken-,and squid balls and kikiam, 80 pesos worth, i think, between the two of us. Miscalculated a step on the curb and ended up kneeling on dirt, scraping my left knee and ripping my pants (and in the background I could almost hear Spongebob singing "the fool who ripped [her] pants"...). Dell said I looked like one of those punk-rocker artist types with ripped jeans, blood notwithstanding.
Now my knee is throbbing with pain, and it looks like I'll have to limp my way to UP later to see Daryl. I'm paying her for buying Erika Lopez's book for me (Thanks Da!). It's a great book, hilarious. Something to cheer me up these days. It seems I need a lot of cheering up. And that goes for almost all the people I know. Seems like everyone is having a lackluster summer.
*sigh*
Wouldn't that be a nice title for a book, or a song--"Lackluster Summer"?
Whatever.
the bitchwitch brewed this concoction @8:06:00 PM

Monday, April 12, 2004
"I won't worry my life away..."
feeling like: Eowyn, *trapped*
listening to: Skunk Anansie's Hedonism
(re)reading: Ursula K. Le Guin's Left Hand of Darkness



It's not time to worry, yet. Won't do any damn good, so I should just stop.
My life's a damnable mess.
Ok, ok, no more complaints. It can't be helped. Apathy, I summon thee.

I wonder if I should enroll in a summer class. But my brother is enrolling for his first year in college at one of the most expensive universities, so I feel a bit hesitant asking for tuition money. (i know, I know, time to find a job.) Why my parents, particularly my father, is so paranoid of letting my younger brothers study in UP, I have no idea. Actually I do. He thinks its dangerous and all that. But I managed to survive. Maybe he's afraid they'll turn out antipatika and suwail, like me.

I'm tired of watching my car spin out of control in Gran Turismo. Racing isn't for me. The only racing game I ever mastered was South Park Rally, and that was because you get awesome weapons like Shooting Cheesy Poofs and Alien Anal Probe to blast your competitors outta the way. So I'm just playing this PC game Pharaoh. It's good for the ego, when you see messages like "People idolize you as a god" or "the latest dance in Egypt depicts your life story" or something to that effect. I don't know, but I'm really into these games that make me into some god, having influence and power over miniscule 16-bit beings. Bwahahaha.


Anyhoo, this is of some interest, esp. to Aypwil, who likes Viggo and Guns n' Roses:

Viggo Mortensen plays music with ex-Guns n' Roses guitarist Buckethead. Read the complete interview here at sunday herald. Aragorn and Boromir in a pub! Oh joy! *faints*


Some questions to pass the time away
these are from apwil's journal :) I answered them yesterday.

1) WHAT IS YOUR MOST FAVORITE SONG EVER AND WHY?
hmm, tough one.

2) WHAT IS YOUR MOST HATED SONG EVER AND WHY?
Any and all of the novelty OPM songs so popular these days

3) NAME ONE SONG THAT YOU THINK ONLY YOU HAVE HEARD OF... AND YOU REALLY LIKED:
Sweet Frustration by Audiovent. Er, I'm the only one within my circle of friends who has heard anything by Audiovent, i think.


4) WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE PERFECT SONG FOR SEX AND WHY?
"Let's get it on" sung by Jack Black in the film High Fidelity. Tho maybe that's not such i good idea--i just end up laughing when i think of Jack Black.

5) IF YOU WERE TO JOIN A SINGING CONTEST, WHAT SONG WOULD YOU SING AND WHY?
Get me away from here I'm dying by Belle and Sebastian, because that would be my sentiment if ever i'm in a singing contest

6) WHAT SONGS WOULD YOU WANT TO BE PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The Happy Phantom by Tori Amos

7) WHAT SONG WOULD REALLY MAKE YOU CRY? CITE A PART OF ITS LYRICS.
I'll Cover You (Reprise) from Rent:
"I think they meant it/ when they said you can't buy love/Now i know you can rent it/a new lease you are my love/on life"

8) WHAT SONG BRIGHTENS UP YOUR DAY?
The Campfire Song Song by Spongebob Squarepants

9) FIRST TAPE OR CD YOU BOUGHT?
Henry Mancini and his Orchestra

10) LATEST TAPE/CD YOU BOUGHT?
The Two Towers Soundtrack (okay, okay, that was a long time ago, but I don't have enough money to buy anything new)

11) WHAT WERE YOUR SONGS FOR YOUR EX BF/GF(s)?
That Girl Can Have You (I Barfed You Out a Long Time Ago) by ME (LOL)

12) WHAT IS THE MOST PAINFUL SONG YOU'VE EVER HEARD?
See I'm Smiling from The Last Five Years, because it starts out nice and sweet and funny, then takes this heart-wrenching turn

13) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE GOSPEL SONG?
Does Shifting Sands by Caedmon's Call count as a Gospel song?

14) WHAT SONGS DO YOU WANT TO BE PLAYED ON YOUR WEDDING DAY?
The theme from Franco Zeferelli's movie Romeo and Juliet

15) WHAT SONG WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR LIFE NOW?
Nowhere Fast by Incubus

16) WHAT IS YOUR SONG FOR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW?
Alive by Think of England

17) WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PARTY/GROOVE SONG?
Er, does Out Tonight (from Rent) count as a groove song? Oh, and Hedwig's Wig in the Box, too.

18) WHAT SONG DID YOU USE TO SING WHEN YOU WERE STILL A CHILD?
"I am but a small voice..." by Lea Salonga

19) What Song Makes You Sleep?
Anything off Coldplay's "Parachutes" album, or Incubus' Aqueous Transmission

20) WHAT SONG WOULD YOU LIKE TO SING TO YOUR LOVED ONE?
Bring Me to Life (LOL) or Save Me by Aimee Mann

*******************************

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. write down what it says:
"though i fear it's all a bunch of nonsense."

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first?
Fry, my cat! (who is biting my fingers now)

What is the last thing you watched on tv
my brother playing the .hack PS2 game

Without looking, guess what time it is:
9;45 am
Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
10:12 am

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
music from the TV (Make it slow by Ciudad)

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Yesterday when my family and i went to church.

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
Yahoo!Mail

what are you wearing?
My purple jammies with the sleepy bear and quarter moon prints (i just woke up, ok)

Did you dream last night?
yeah; because i've been playing gran turismo (v. poorly) I dreamed i was in some garage with some v. buff mechanics and i was begging and offering anything to get my car back without paying for the oil change. woke up before anything *ahem* interesting happened.

When did you last laugh?
just now, while reading the question. I'm a nutcase.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A mirror, a framed cross-stitched portrait of a 'tuxedo' cat, a wall hanging depicting some cats out on a lawn or something, a wall hanging from Malaysia, my brothers' certificates of communion, and the air conditioner.

Seen anything weird lately?
Early this morning, Fry was sleeping on the weighing scale (she's 3.5 lbs)

What do you think of this quiz?
kewl.

What is the last film you saw?
Liberty Stands Still--interesting film with Wesley Snipes, about guns and the second ammendment of the US constitution. my dad was watching it. I was bored, so i watched it too. so sue me.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A book. No, several books. Several hundred books. The thought makes me giddy.

Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I have this big, vivid mole on my belly, just above my ribs, the right side.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
The Filipino's view of him/herself. We just don't have enough pride in ourselves and in our culture. One of the reasons we're so fucked up.

Do you like to dance?
Not to save my life.

George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
Megalomanic Nutcase

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Cerise Luina (frm Sindarin luin "blue")

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Azul (can't think of a second name right now)

Would you ever consider living abroad?
yeah. I hear New Zealand is nice.
the bitchwitch brewed this concoction @7:13:00 PM

Sunday, April 11, 2004
Isn't Holy Week great? You spend a week stuck and holed up in your house with the entire family and vie for the title of Most Horrible Person in the Family.

No, I didn't have any spiritual reflections during the week. It's just suffocating at home and instead of being all pious you end up grumpy and wishing people would just leave you alone.

I did go to church, though.

Anyhoo, Happy Easter!

***

Happy Birthday, Aypwil! Many happy returns!
the bitchwitch brewed this concoction @6:10:00 PM

Thursday, April 01, 2004
Well, what do you know...




You're The Fellowship of the Ring!

by J.R.R. Tolkien

Facing great adversity, you have decided that your only choice is to
unite with your friends and neighbors. You have been subject to a ton of squabbling and
ultimately decided that someone humble is your best candidate for a dangerous mission.
You're quite good with languages and convinced that not all who wander are lost. If you
see anyone in black robes on horseback, just run. That's just common sense.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



Took the quiz again and turned out to be Kurt Vonnegut's Mother Night .
Weird.
the bitchwitch brewed this concoction @7:56:00 PM

My new best friend, the Two-Hole Puncher
Since the end of classes, I've found some solace in doing brain dead things like punching holes into my photocopied books and binding them with fasteners that are color-coordinated with their used folder covers (Purple covers for the French books, periwinkle for the German). Of course, I couldn't afford to have them bound in the shops after photocopying, as I have barely enough for photocopying as it is.

I've also found that two-hole punching papers is very therapeutic, especially if you're angry and what you really wanna do is punch someone.

Summer--my season for fantasy!
Daryl once said I've been a Tolkien fanatic since she met me because I would reread Tolkien every summer, and that the only difference since the release of the movies is that now I re-watch the movies almost every other month, with a quick peek at the books every now and then.

But of course summer is my season for fantasy. Long, empty days without nothing to do--why not read fantasy? Escape the mundane-ness of life! Go off on mad adventures! Enough of depressing literary works and theories!

Some people may look at this with disdain--my blatant escapism. But to hell with them! I live in a Third World country with crappy election songs blaring around every so often, so cut me some effing slack. I deserve to daydream.

the bitchwitch brewed this concoction @7:06:00 PM