listening to: rivermaya's between the stars and waves
reading: Opening of the Mouth by Anne Duden

Damn. I just lost a really long post. Damned useless internet connection for getting disconnected at the most inopportune moment. Damned lazy stinky Fry who is sleeping on the computer table and has forced me to cradle the keyboard on my lap.

"I think I grew a gray watching you procrastinate..."
Things haven't been working very well around this house, but last Tuesday I managed to bully my brother into fixing the printer (finally!) and just today he had the PS2 fixed. Actually, it only needed a cleaning job and Kuya was appalled at having to pay five hundred effing pesos for something he could've done himself--if he knew that was all he had to do, that is. Anyway, it's fixed, which means he won't be encroaching on my computer time, especially now that I'm still harrassed with all my deadlines and school work.
I still have about 4 books to read and only a month in which to read them, and that's just for one class. And they're not particularly easy texts to read, at that.
At least my report on Christa Wolf's Cassandra actually went well--I employed a combination of re-visionist theory and literary relations and a sprinkling of historiography as my critical approach, with a special attention to women's madness and hysteria and its role in women's narrative. Windang, but I pulled it off. I'll be having a harder time with it as a written report though, something I should be writing right now, except that I lent the copy of my Cassandra to a classmate and won't have it back til next week, at the very least. So I can't quote passages from the book for my paper. (Special thanks to Trish for giving me the book ^_^)
Procrastinate, procrastinate, that's what I do best.
Anyway, I've been researching on literary criticism on women's erotica and S&M in preparation for one of the novels in my class, The Piano Teacher, and I came across this interesting site, Scarlet Letters, which has erotic fiction, non-fiction, poetry, visual art, and even this article, The Princesses of Power Porno:Women's Erotic Comix Very interesting, huh? Comicbook Erotica for Women--so they do exist! Yay, no more valorizing the phallus and wanton, senseless objectification of women's bodies seen through the exclusively male and phallocentric gaze! I haven't explored the site thoroughly yet, what with my brothers hanging around and pestering me, as usual. Though, as I've told Yonina, I once got away with reading an online article on giving a 'proper' blowjob with my mother hovering in the background. She didn't have her eyeglasses on, so I was fairly certain that she couldn't read what was on the computer monitor.
Speaking of my mother, my bros and I have been planning to go to the incubus concert next month, and my mother insists on going with us. Her favorite incubus song is Wish You Were Here because of the turntable riffs in the beginning. I could just visualize how weird it would be to have my mom in the mosh pit with us, and even weirder still is that I suspect she'll enjoy it even more than my bros and I will.
Okay, I'm off to procrastinate again.

who is your closest personality match





"death isn't the handicap it used to be in the olden days. it doesn't screw your career up like it used to."

for starters you're dead, which is always a bit of a problem, but hey, you still get a really trendy death scene. so you tried to take the ring, well, it's not like frodo was actually doing anything useful with it anyway, and he offered it to everyone else. although maybe attacking him wasn't the best plan of action, but then again he is a total gimp. anyway, if anyone ever blames you, just say it was your unhappy childhood. 'cos let's face it, your brother is a prat and your father is insane. perhaps you were adopted.

you only want two things. to help to save gondor, and aragorn. unfortunately, because you consistently get ignored by everyone, you never get to have either. regardless of how logical your reasoning is, or reasonable your suggestions are, no one ever pays attention. for some reason they all want to blindly follow the ideas of gandalf or aragorn. perhaps you are ignored because you're one of the youngest members of the fellowship, even frodo is older than you.

you go to rivendell because you and your brother have a dream, and since you're there, elrond kindly invites you to the council meeting. obviously this is a great chance to continue checking out aragorn, since you made a bit of a dick of yourself when you cut your finger on that sword and then dropped it on the ground. although the sword was broken anyway so it probably didn't matter that much.

you are clearly very impressed with the ring when it is revealed, but who wouldn't be. anyway, this ring, obviously, is the big chance to save gondor. however when you try to logically suggest this to everyone they dismiss your suggestions, preferring instead to mumble a whole lot of crap about no one being able to wield it. has any one actually seriously tried?

but, like usual you get talked over, and they all decide to ditch the ring. however aragorn does promise that he will go to gondor with you if you decide to tag along with the fellowship. at least aragorn seems to be quite receptive to your advances, at least most of the time, although things can get quite angsty between you. possibly because you don't seem to be able to have a conversation with out mentioning gondor, and what a trendy place it is, and how everyone should go there. if only they had given you the ring perhaps you could have done something about saving it.

unfortunately you missed your chance to get the ring when frodo dropped it on caradhras, but hey- everyone makes mistakes. at least you eventually get kissed by aragorn, which means you are 10 points up on the elf, who is desperate for that opportunity but never actually makes it.

take the quiz here.

Cixous, on writing:

And why don't you write? Write! Writing is for you; your body is yours, take it. I know why you haven't written...Because writing is at once too high, too great for you, it's reserved for the great--that is for "great men"; and it's "silly." Besides, you've written a little, but in secret. And it wasn't good, because it was in secret, and because you punished yourself for writing, because you didn't go all the way, or because you wrote, irresistibly, as when we would masturbate in secret, not to go further, but to attenuate the tension a bit, just enough to take the edge off. And as soon as we come, we go and make ourselves feel guilty--so as to be forgiven; or to forget, to bury it until the next time.

Write, let no one hold you back, let nothing stop you; not man; not the imbecilic capitalist machinery, in which publishing houses are the crafty, obsequious relayers of imperatives handed down by an economy that works against us and off our backs; and not yourself. Smug-faced readers, managing editors, and big bosses don't like the true texts of women--female-sexed texts. That kind scares them.

-Helene Cixous, The Laugh of the Medusa in French Feminism Reader, ed. Kelly Oliver, Rowman & LIttlefield Publishers, Inc.

There's a reason why 'dead' is in the word DEADline
Uh-huh. Deadlines are always to die for.
I'm just windang with all the deadlines I have to meet and I can't shout at people who are pestering me all week long can't they see i'm already flustered and i can't think straight anymore and my gym instructor gets it into his head to scold me for staying up late and i want to hit him with a gatorade bottle and tell him i'm trying to remember all the dialogue in my comic book script that i've written almost a year and a half ago?
*huff*
okay, these are self-imposed deadlines. but some people are just so inconsiderate at times. Virginia Wolf wasn't exactly accurate when she said all women need is a room of their own--yeah, what's the use of your own room when people knock at your door and force you to remember you have chores to do or you have to help with your sibling's homework and....
i'm just complaining. I always am. I'm trying to cope here, work with me.
I'm getting a headache now.
In other, more cheerful news, I finally got myself a copy of Flaming Iguanas by Erika Lopez, something I've wanted since early thesis days. I'm planning to read it as soon as I manage to meet my--yes--deadlines, hopefully by the end of next week. I also got this cool collection of essays by some leading Chicana and Latina writers, called Mascaras edited by Lucha Corpi. Real kewl. I was choosing between that and Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer, but the former was cheaper and had kikay photos of the writers, so i got that one instead. Besides, if I had gotten Miller, I'd have lost my jeepney fare.
Anyway, anyone interested in the Miller book could get it at Books for Less at Roces, for 198 pesos, i think.
I've finished putting all the dialogue in my comic book story--couldn't remember them all, so i just changed some and rewrote others...i think that story is just as windang as i am (er, what else could come from the bowels of my brain? ask dell about my story ideas--even he gets windang from my windang ideas).
Well, I'm hitting the sack now. Sho shleepy.

Yey!
Finally finished the Figwit-inspired blog template :)